IPL- Indian Political League

Last year when the Indian Premier League started with a lot of fanfare, Lalit Modi was the toast of the nation. He was destiny's child who could do nothing wrong. He was rubbing his shoulders and god knows what else with the creme-de-la-creme of India's business and glamour circles.

The League which had started after a lot of politics and a knee jerk reaction to Subhash Chandra's ICL. While the IPL turned out to be a success due to the heady combination of cricket, glamour and power, ICL did not achieve much success due to lack of the above three ingredients. BCCI also has tried to kill competition by banning players involved with ICL and barring them from playing any form of official cricket.

But the tables have turned in less than 12 months. The UPA government is not confident that they can have such a big event at the time of the elections. My friends say the government is scared that if the Indian junta is watching 20-20 cricket then who will listen to their election manifestos. Crazy as they may be, the politicians still need drive their points, pointless as they may be.

The BJP accuses that the congress is targeting the IPL. They say that "a government, which cannot provide protection to 11 players, cannot be entrusted with the task of country’s security". My question is that if the congress had actually allowed the IPL to happen at this time then the same people would have alleged that the Congress is ignoring the security of the citizens of the country and compromising national security for commercial reasons. It is definitely a Catch-22 situation. But I am not defending anybody...Its just that we as a country have just got used to criticise others for everything, for any initiative or maybe politicising anything and everything. When the government can claim the success of Slumdog as their then Danny will definitely "Boil".

As of now when I am writing this article there is speculation that South Africa or England might be the alternative venues for this year. Whatever happens from here, one thing is for sure ...renaming IPL to the Indian Political League would not be such a bad idea..:)

Slapstick-1

Bhoot- Knock Knock...

Man- Abey Kaun Hai...Raat ko is time...Kal Aana

Bhoot- Abey saale roz bolta hai kal aane ko...aaj to main tera khoon pee ke hee jaaonga..

Man- Khoon to bhool jaa...fridge mein thanda doodh hai..chocos daal ke pee le...

Bhoot- Yeh accha idea has waise bhi kaafi garmee ho gayee hai..waise saath mein kuch khaane ko mil jaaye to fir maza aaaa jaaye..

(After the Bhoot finishes his milk)

Man- Yaar too roz idhar apnee marwaane kyon aa jaata hai..aur fir same dialogue maarta hai..."main tujhe khaa jaaonga.." jaa peehle kapil ka tiffin khatam kar..usme kaafi khaana rehta hai..

Bhoot- Yaar tum log meri izzat hee naheen karte..kyaa zamana aa gaya hai..hey bhagwaaan mujhe apne paas bula le....

Man-- Acha jaa rahe ho..ek kaam karna bahar se darwaaza band kar dena..warna tumhaare papa betaal ji naa aa jayeein..waise tum bhooton ke paas aajkal kuch kaam to naheen hai...jaake koi naukri kyon naheen kar lete..

Bhoot- Yeh lo mera cv...NAUKRI dhoondte dhoondte main MONSTER ban gaya hoon..yeh bhi koi zindagi hai...MONSTER pe bhi cv daala hai..woh to mere rishtedaar kee site hee hai..soch raha hoon entrepreneur ban jaaon...

Man- accha idea hai...Kya karoge...waise jab tuk kuch kaam naheen milta mere ghar kee safai kar do..waise bhi kaam waalee bai chutti pe hai..

Bhoot- thank u mere dost..tum ne mujhe sahara diya...ab main chalta hoon...Thank u for chocos and food...


To be continued....only on encouragement from readers..:)

TEAMing with Champions

At the time of writing this article the Indian team would be probably comfortably ensconced in their hotel in Hamilton....... The whole cricketing world is waiting eagerly to see whether India can actually take their forms in the shorter form of the game to the five day version. Even though on paper the teams are not matched at all but green turfs and India's dismal record evens up things ever so slightly..

The last one dayer exposed our team's weaknesses against the swinging deliveries. And if the New Zealanders stop their warm hospitality then tomorrow could be a hostile day for us. But then if NZ wins the toss and decides to bat then Zaheer and Ishant are themselves capable of routing NZ's in a session or two. Not to forget Bhajji who would be eager to fox the Kiwis not only with his doosra's and teesra's but also the new maa..ki's and behen..kis he would have added to his repertoire

If we are batting and Sehwag manages to bat for about 20-30 overs..it might just take the Kiwi's breath away for not just the day but maybe the series..And if he and Gambhir can actually stay till lunch then we all know only one team would be having their lunch..:)

If Sachin can overcome his injury and add another century or double to his overflowing account, it would be money well spent for the spectators in the ground and a good trade off for people in India who get up at 3 to watch the match.

If Dravid scores a Dravidesque century then he would have answered a lot of unnecessary questions which "We the Unforgiving People"....(sorry Barkha) have asked him in the last year. It would also tell the Kiwis that they need to climb the WALL to actually think of beating the Indians.

At this point of time I am actually thinking I have already counted so many match winners in the team. That's not enough...Yes because Yuvraj in any situation can murder a bowling attack and Kiwis would be hoping that he doesn't carry his dream form into the series. Yuvraj could be just dealing in 6s keeping in mind the size of the grounds..

And that brings me to the one man who I have consciously kept in the end...Its not an insult to him but its like the icing on the pudding..Whether you say luck, skill, charisma, leadership skills..MS Dhoni has everything in plenty..And if he gets his act together the Indian team could well climb to the #1 spot by the end of the series. What ever we say India just keeps winning under the guy and nobody can deny that. Ok he has a great team but then Ponting lost the ashes in 2005 when he had Mcgrath and Warne. So there is definitely some magic which Dhoni comes up with everytime we are in a spot of bother...

Lets hope Dhoni never runs out of his magic potion.........Cheers !!

Creak Cat

Sugar Free and Hot Chocolate Fudge

Well don't be confused by the above title. This just shows the economics of convenience which people like me have started practicing. While having coffee or I would insist on a sachet of sugar free but insist on the dollop of chocolate sauce or crazily have an ice cream for dessert. It just shows that most decisions in life these days we take as per our "convenience". While its ok to give some money to the beggar, we do not have the time to actually go and work at the grass root level and not even for a day..we say that we are keen sports lovers but the only physical sport we indulge in is switching channels between Star Cricket/ Sport/ ESPN and Neo..This was further proved yesterday when most of us celebrated a Diwali of 4s and 6s by Sehwag inside our living rooms when the whole world outside was with their Holy Guns..:) (yes the pun is definitely intended)

Most of us feel have actually started taking the maxim, "the pen is mightier than the sword" way too seriously. People feel by blogging and becoming social commentators they are going to change the world. And before anyone says look who's talking....I confess...am also stuck in the same rut. and I want to do something but dont know how..Any suggestions are welcome...

I want to write more but some other time..some slides to fill...wish they were beer mugs..:)Damn the weight watchers...